A
AN123FU
Hi,
I'm from Tesla.
I hope you like your car. As you understand, in the 100 page end-user agreement, we OWN the software in your car and have the RIGHT to turn your car on and drive it our shop and upgrade the software as we see fit. These services may cause the dashboard gauges to change colors, we might move the speed gauge to the trunk, start making you use your phone via Bluetooth to turn on the lights and switch the location of the brakes and acceleration based on user experience. We might add some microphones so we can learn from driver comments their experiences so we can continually make more and different ways to do things. We may add new video cameras to monitor how our software is doing and to mitigate our costs by selling the videos of your teenagers on their dates at the "OutLook Point" to **** channels on the internet.
You don't have to be involved in the process, in fact, we DON"T want you involved. We might or might let you know what we did. If we do decide to tell you, we will tell you in the morning when you get in your car and trying to get to work. Because, although you might need to get to work and do something productive, it is FAR more important that we make you learn a more "efficient" way to drive and experience our well thought out view that everyone should constantly be finding a new way to do the old same thing.
So .. just tell us when you won't be driving for a while. As you are aware, you can postpone your service for up to 14 days from today. But after that, you have no choice.. we WILL do the upgrade. Our lawyers and Congreemen assure us you have no choice.) But in any case we need to leave us a 8 hour window when we can commander your car and do whatever we want because we have egos to feed.
We MIGHT detect that you are driving so we MIGHT not take it. (If you have to make an emergency run to the drug store at 2AM, leave the car idling in the parking lot.. (it might work.) When we need to do a REALLY big upgrade, we require you to pay for any and all bandwidth we deem necessary, any mileage against the car lease and any recharging / energy necessary. It might take 2-3 hours (maybe more.. we are never really sure.) for the upgrade and the 14 engine starts and stops.
We hope you can plan your emergency use/needs appropriately. We realize the challenge as we won't tell you went it going to happen. But then again, you can't tell us when you are going to have an "abnormal" need to use YOUR car outside of an 18 hour window. (When you detect that we have "serviced" your car, please make sure you have enough charge and that all your fluids are at a reasonable level of your usage. )
We HIGHLY recommend that you install the U-BER app on your phone in case the upgrade fails. (Hope you live in a high bandwidth/high traffic area.) If there is an issue and your car fails to start, please find a friend and borrow their car and you can drive to your local Tesla dealer (there is one within 1000 miles) where you can wait in line or call our call center where you can hear the melodic tones of broken English from technicians with 2 weeks experience on Ford's Model -T. (There isn't enough time nor experience to train them on all the possible things that could go wrong when changing millions and millions of lines of code that got tested on 15 cars at the factory.) Just be prepared that you might not be able to drive YOUR car for a few days until we finally get to you.
There HAS to be someway to STOP MSFT from just turning on my PC and forcing an Update that will force me to learn new things, figure out what they broke, recover files, etc.
My PC is MY PC.. and just because some better drowned lawyer wrote it into an UNREADABLE EU license agreement doesn't make it RIGHT. (There are lawyers all over the world that can play the LEGAL game but have no reasonable morals or ethics that you would want on the next generation.)
Continue reading...
I'm from Tesla.
I hope you like your car. As you understand, in the 100 page end-user agreement, we OWN the software in your car and have the RIGHT to turn your car on and drive it our shop and upgrade the software as we see fit. These services may cause the dashboard gauges to change colors, we might move the speed gauge to the trunk, start making you use your phone via Bluetooth to turn on the lights and switch the location of the brakes and acceleration based on user experience. We might add some microphones so we can learn from driver comments their experiences so we can continually make more and different ways to do things. We may add new video cameras to monitor how our software is doing and to mitigate our costs by selling the videos of your teenagers on their dates at the "OutLook Point" to **** channels on the internet.
You don't have to be involved in the process, in fact, we DON"T want you involved. We might or might let you know what we did. If we do decide to tell you, we will tell you in the morning when you get in your car and trying to get to work. Because, although you might need to get to work and do something productive, it is FAR more important that we make you learn a more "efficient" way to drive and experience our well thought out view that everyone should constantly be finding a new way to do the old same thing.
So .. just tell us when you won't be driving for a while. As you are aware, you can postpone your service for up to 14 days from today. But after that, you have no choice.. we WILL do the upgrade. Our lawyers and Congreemen assure us you have no choice.) But in any case we need to leave us a 8 hour window when we can commander your car and do whatever we want because we have egos to feed.
We MIGHT detect that you are driving so we MIGHT not take it. (If you have to make an emergency run to the drug store at 2AM, leave the car idling in the parking lot.. (it might work.) When we need to do a REALLY big upgrade, we require you to pay for any and all bandwidth we deem necessary, any mileage against the car lease and any recharging / energy necessary. It might take 2-3 hours (maybe more.. we are never really sure.) for the upgrade and the 14 engine starts and stops.
We hope you can plan your emergency use/needs appropriately. We realize the challenge as we won't tell you went it going to happen. But then again, you can't tell us when you are going to have an "abnormal" need to use YOUR car outside of an 18 hour window. (When you detect that we have "serviced" your car, please make sure you have enough charge and that all your fluids are at a reasonable level of your usage. )
We HIGHLY recommend that you install the U-BER app on your phone in case the upgrade fails. (Hope you live in a high bandwidth/high traffic area.) If there is an issue and your car fails to start, please find a friend and borrow their car and you can drive to your local Tesla dealer (there is one within 1000 miles) where you can wait in line or call our call center where you can hear the melodic tones of broken English from technicians with 2 weeks experience on Ford's Model -T. (There isn't enough time nor experience to train them on all the possible things that could go wrong when changing millions and millions of lines of code that got tested on 15 cars at the factory.) Just be prepared that you might not be able to drive YOUR car for a few days until we finally get to you.
There HAS to be someway to STOP MSFT from just turning on my PC and forcing an Update that will force me to learn new things, figure out what they broke, recover files, etc.
My PC is MY PC.. and just because some better drowned lawyer wrote it into an UNREADABLE EU license agreement doesn't make it RIGHT. (There are lawyers all over the world that can play the LEGAL game but have no reasonable morals or ethics that you would want on the next generation.)
Continue reading...