Win 10 Fails 1308 update

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PaulinPhoenix

Here's the thing:

My car can drive itself, using AI, navigating city streets with aplomb, and my computer can't update itself because:

a) My drivers may be "out of date; we don't know which one(s), or if this is actually so - we're just guessing, and if we did that "AI stuff," well that would be just too much work."

b) Your "UEFI may not be configured correctly; we're not sure what might be wrong, hell, we're not even sure there is something wrong. We can also read the UEFI data but even if we think something is wrong we don't know how to tell you to fix it. If we did that AI stuff, , you know, like that low-tech company GM, that would be just too much, you know, work."

c) "We may have screwed something up in the upgrade process. We're sorry you computer simply powers down mid-update; we don't know why, hell we didn't even know it was powering itself down. If we did that AI stuff, , you know, like that low-tech company GM, that would be just too much, you know, work."

d) This stuff is really complicated. "You may not believe this, but it's actually *really* more complicated than driving a car. If we did that AI stuff, , you know, like that low-tech company GM, that would be just too much, you know, work."

e) We're sorry that about every third Microsoft Sudoku game is preceded by an advertisement for our new "Find stuff" game, but we're very happy, and proud to say that while our upgrades are really screwed up, at least our advertising works perfectly every time!"

f) We're really dumb over here at Microsoft; most of us actually use LINUX because we can tinker with it until we get it right, but mostly, we use it because it's free. Windows? That's our job; personally, we use LINUX on our home machines."

So my computer dutifully downloads a fresh copy of the upgrade - every single time; hey, why would we trust a copy that's already been downloaded 20 times before; it's not like we can do a checksum or anything like that to determine if it's "all there" so silly, dumb old us is going to download a fresh copy every time - goes through the tedious process of tying up resources while we unpack the upgrade, line all the files up for install, and then inform you the user that 'there's an upgrade you should install, and it's really important, and we know it's failed the last 20 times, but this time, we think, it will actually work, even though not a single thing has changed since 'last time.' If we detected 'stuff like that, If we did that AI stuff, , you know, like that low-tech company GM, that would be just too much, you know, work."

Einstein said that doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity, and this upgrade isn't even smart enough to realize that if the previous 19 upgrade attempts have failed, hey!, maybe 'this time will be different.' If not, we can always download the whole package once again, decompress it, and try again - even though nothing has changed.

And when I read comments I see stuff like "Disable the sound card and its drivers; that seems to help." and I think to myself that "sound cards" have been around for, oh, about 30 years or so, they "caused problems," and Microsoft still can't detect them properly or update a computer because of "sound cards" in the 21st century, 30 years later??? If we did that AI stuff, , you know, like that low-tech company GM, that would be just too much, you know, work.

I feel like it would be redundant, and equally obvious, but I still have to ask the question: "What's wrong with this picture?"

Bill Gates, who I know 'no longer works for Microsoft,' is one of the richest men in the world, meaning that Microsoft is one of the most well-funded companies in the world, and thousands of us are caught in some time loop where our computers are repeatedly trying to upgrade themselves, fail, and seemingly don't have the AI of a toaster?

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